The Deuce breaks down the weekend we'd all rather forget

Ladies and gentlemen, the Deuce:

See, this is what happens when you start to believe your own hype. The Caps get featured in an article by espn.com's Suck Burnside, get picked by the so-called "experts" as the division winner and playoff contender, play two great games and get one lucky win they don't deserve, and suddenly the Caps think they're so good they don't even have to shoot to score anymore! Apparently, puck possession and pretty passing are supposed to make the other team's goalie simply move aside and let us skate the puck into the net.

The Caps put on what will hopefully be their worst showings of the season this weekend, getting outshot a combined 152-12. Brent Johnson and Olie have to look like Dennis Lemieux from Slap Shot right now, nervously twitching and trying to save phantom pucks they probably still see flying at them from all directions.

And don't try to tell me that Semin and Gordon would have made the difference in these games, because those guys aren't worth an additional 40 shots, which is how many more shots the Caps needed in those two games to make a difference.

The Caps played dumb hockey against the Rangers, led off by The Russian Machine's tripping penalty 5 seconds into the game. And it was all downhill from there.

Against the Sabres, the Caps were playing a dangerous game of trying to match skill against skill. The shot total through 3/4 of the 1st period should have been their clue that it wasn't working. Eventually, the floodgates opened and Buffalo was off to the races.

I'm too depressed by actually having watched these disasters to say much more. Thankfully, my soon-to-be two year old missed both games and didn't cry all night long as a result!

The (very few) positives from this weekend's games:

Glen Hanlon's calm demeanor after the horrendous efforts.

The fact that this will serve as a wakeup call to the team and they'll be forced to put the hard-hats back on.

Eventually, Alexander Semin's ankle will heal. He's good for 10 shots a game!

The resulting articles and polls in the media dropping the Caps back down to near last in the league will piss the team off and result in a great effort this week (I hope).

At least it didn't happen against Pittsburgh.