Second round predictions

Ok, here we go. The Deuce's picks are below mine.

Sabres (1) take the 2nd Battle of New York in 5 over the Rangers (6). The over/under in Vegas on number of games before Jagr cries like a little girl is set at 3. Note, I'm not talking about whining. I mean actual wetworks, sobs and all.

Ottawa (4) makes sure there is no NY Metro final in the East, beating NJ (2) in 6 games. If there is a god.

San Jose (5) muscles over a soft Detroit (1) squad in 6. San Jose has the talent to match Detroit, and they are about 1,000,000,000 times as physical. Also, on a personal note, Detroit sucks.

Anaheim (2) over exhausted Vancouver (3) in 6. Luongo is going to win one game on his own in this series, and I think Anaheim drops game 1 after their long layoff. Other than that, don't expect too much from the Canucks.


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Buffalo vs. NYR - Jagr will disappear when he's most needed; the Sabres will completely ignore Avery's stupid animal tricks; and Buffalo's team talent will overcome that of the Czech National Team's. This series won't be nearly as close as people are making it out to be. Sabres in 5.

New Jersey vs. Ottawa - If there is any justice in this world, Ottawa's exciting, up-tempo, pretty passing game will smoke New Jersey's boring, stifling, boring, trapping, boring, mind-numbing, boring, single-handedly killed hockey ratings this decade, boring boring "transitional" game. I have to believe there is hope in this world. Ottawa in 6, thus officially eliminating the last F-ing trapping team in the playoffs and forcing GMs and coaches (including Hanlon) to re-think the trap as a winning strategy. Please.

Detroit vs. San Jose - Matchup of perennial playoff underperformers. Loads of talent on both sides, dearth of players who know how to step it up in the playoffs. I'd like to go with Detroit simply because everyone is picking the Sharks here, but I can't, for several reasons:

1) Detroit is one of the teams whose fans invade our arena every year.

2) Detroit got loads of points this year beating up on St. Louis, Chicago, and Columbus. Our beer-league team could've got 100 points playing those jokers (See also, Nashville Predators). Meanwhile, the Sharks had to play Anaheim and Dallas 16 times this year.

3) When I was a young kid living in Michigan, a buddy took me to a Red Wings-Caps game at the Joe. We were having a good time at the game, and, amazingly, the Caps scored first (Kelly Miller of all people, who woulda thunk it). I cheered for my team, not excessively, not like they do in our house, then went back to watching the game and talking. Well, needless to say, the Wings scored to tie the game, and an eighty year old man sitting in front of me turned around, gave me the double-bird, and screamed "F--- you you washington Pr_ck!" High class. So Wings fans can all burn in hell for all eternity. A--holes. Sharks in 6.

Anaheim-Vancouver - Vancouver is not a good team. And they're worn out. Anaheim is an excellent team. And they're well rested. Nuff said. Quackers in 4.